One for the Books

You might remember my post from a couple weeks ago where I mentioned that Hannah puts on her own clothes in the morning. Well, we've been doing this off and on for a couple weeks and it really has worked out well. Until...Friday.

So the story goes...

As usual, Hannah called for me to come get her. I went in to get her and she tells me..."Momma, the button is in my booty".

"WHAT??????????" "WHAT BUTTON??????" "WHERE???????????"

I see a shriveled up piece of thread laying next to her cute pink outfit that I had put out for her. "Hannah, show me where you put it."

"Right here, Momma" as she points to her 'girl parts'. I took a peek in and did not see the button. I tossed the sheets around, combed through the carpet, shook out the pillow. No button.

Next move, call the doctor. "Yes, my daughter put a button in her vagina. What do I do?" We've never heard of that one, ma'am. We'll call you back. They call back and tell me to take her to the Children's Hospital ER because they don't have the equipment for "such" things.

So we go to the ER. They repeated the same things I had done..asking her where she put it. Please point to where you put it, etc. She tells them the same thing she had told me. They don't see it either after taking a look. The doctor orders an XRAY. No button. The doctor orders an ultrasound. No button. He tells us there really isn't anything else he can do. Go home. Come back if you see any signs of infection.

So I'm thinking, "Man, I just dropped $100 (not to mention 4 hours) in the ER only to not find the freaking button my child has told me she has put in her 'booty'." Lovely.

Back at the ranch, a couple hours later. Andrew quietly brings Hannah's diaper to me. "Look, Steph. Look what we found." A FREAKING WHITE BUTTON AMONGST THE POO.

I can't make this stuff up.